I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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