do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I want her autograph on my taint
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
