why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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