hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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