there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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