called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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