I cannot find my penis.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
