so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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