This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
