I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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