well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
