Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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