i think i have herpe
just one?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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