were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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