What a fucking waste of an outfit
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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