...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
