he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
false alarm. still invincible.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
