Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just found a bag of teeth...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
