New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
