i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
