my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
