he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize