i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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