i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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