dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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