Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
