Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
