you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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