Four minutes until I can fart!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
