yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
