Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
