she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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