Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
