would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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