Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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