"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
