taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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