Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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