honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
wow bdsm is so cute
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
