this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
