ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
