THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize