Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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