The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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