I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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