Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
