We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
