I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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