Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
