Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
