i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
