she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
