Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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