Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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