The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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