so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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