So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
