Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
