Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize