There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
