I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
