His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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