a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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