Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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