So drunk its hurt
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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