I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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