i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
if only i could text you this smell
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
