it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
