thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
