she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
