dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
She needs sedatives and a leash
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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