I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
