honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
