I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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